


stacking jenga

by bulletholestarlight



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Satire, Screenplay/Script Format, summary seems sad but this is supposed to be funny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-09-24 17:22:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17104883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bulletholestarlight/pseuds/bulletholestarlight
Summary: Han Jisung's uninhibited suicide attempt lifts his life out of mud when he's forced to live with his best friend Hwang Hyunjin and his cat-lover roommate Lee Minho





	1. it was an accident

**Author's Note:**

> it's a comedy

 

  
INDOORS. HOSPITAL

Han Jisung, recently admitted, wakes up sharply. His heart is pounding and the monitor connected to the clip on his finger goes off. His right cheek stings. His best friend, Hwang Hyunjin, is pacing at the foot of his bed. Jisung realizes he is in the hospital. He curses.

JISUNG  
Shit

Hwang Hyunjin keeps pacing. His arms are crossed and he's wearing glasses. Hyunjin only wears glasses out of the comfort of his two bedroom apartment when there's a real emergency, including a buy two get one free sale at his favorite beret shop. The monitor is still going off.

HYUNJIN  
[mumbling]  
I can't believe this happened

Jisung touches his cheek.

JISUNG  
[with realization]  
Did you slap me?

Hyunjin stops. A nurse comes in and turns the monitor off. She looks at Jisung pathetically. Jisung is offended.

NURSE  
[to Hyunjin]  
I'll go get the doctor

The nurse leaves. Hyunjin sits at the foot of the hospital bed.

JISUNG  
[to Hyunjin]  
Did you actually just slap me awake?

  
HYUNJIN  
[angry]  
I can't believe you literally tried to kill yourself, Jisung!

Jisung sighs. He relaxes on the hospital bed. Hyunjin lays across Jisung's shins. They're comfortable.

JISUNG  
It was an accident

Hyunjin turns and pinches Jisung's left thigh.

JISUNG  
[shouting, in pain]  
STOP THAT!

HYUNJIN  
[not stopping]  
Popping over forty pills isn't an accident, Jisung!

Jisung starts to kick Hyunjin with his right leg.

JISUNG  
I was drunk. It was unintentional on my sober behalf

Hyunjin stops pinching Jisung. He looks up at the hospital ceiling. Three tears come out of his right eye and fall onto the hospital bed sheet.

HYUNJIN  
[crying]  
You've been asleep for three days. You got evicted, Chan hasn't visited once, and so many people have seen me wearing my glasses!

Hyunjin stops crying and sits up in an instant.

HYUNJIN  
[negativity excited]  
I've been avoiding the night shift secretary for two days. He's adorable and I'm stuck wearing my goddamn glasses

Jisung stares at Hyunjin. Hyunjin stares at Jisung. Then, Jisung registers what Hyunjin first said.

JISUNG  
[confused]  
I've been evicted?

Hyunjin lays back down.

HYUNJIN  
I already got Woojin to take your stuff to my place

Jisung nods. Kim Woojin (a.k.a Woojin) is someone who would definitely move all of a suicide-atemptee's things into his best friend's two bedroom apartment after he'd been spontaneously evicted. He was Jisung's neighbor.

JISUNG  
[worried]  
What about Lasagna?

_(Lasagna is Jisung's pet cat.)_

HYUNJIN  
Chan took her. Woojin couldn't stop him

Jisung almost starts crying, but doesn't. Hyunjin looks at Jisung, still lying down.

HYUNJIN  
Are you hungry?

JISUNG  
[very hungry]  
Very

 

SCENE. 

 

 

INDOORS. MCDONALD'S

Hyunjin and Jisung are sitting at a booth in the play area of a McDonald's close to the hospital. They have burgers in their hands.

HYUNJIN  
[with his mouth full]  
This is disgusting

JISUNG  
[also with his mouth full]  
Very

They continue to eat.

 

SCENE.

 

  
INDOORS. HYUNJIN'S APARTMENT LIVING ROOM

Jisung is standing beside the couch, staring at all of his things displayed only in the front of the living room. Hyunjin is beside him, sipping on his large Dr. Pepper from McDonald's.

HYUNJIN  
[offhandedly]  
You don't own many things, I guess

Jisung picks up a magazine about Home Decor that was on top of his suitcase which was on top of the coffee table.

JISUNG  
This isn't even mine

Someone new enters the living room.

SOMEONE NEW  
It's mine, dude

Both Jisung and Hyunjin jump. They look behind them. Jisung makes eye contact with a stranger and assumes it's Hyunjin's roommate, Lee Minho.

PRESUMABLY HYUNJIN'S ROOMMATE LEE MINHO  
Please give it to me before you smudge the coupon codes on the back

Jisung turns the magazine over and looks at the coupons. There's one for a lamp made out of cloth. Jisung thinks that's stupid and dangerous.

JISUNG  
[to himself]  
That's stupid, and dangerous

Hyunjin's presumed roommate frowns at Jisung. Jisung tosses the magazine to maybe Lee Minho. He doesn't catch it.

HYUNJIN  
Minho, this is Han Jisung. My friend who attempted suicide while he was drunk then got evicted and now has to live with us

It's decided that the stranger is Hyunjin's roommate Lee Minho. He picks up his magazine.

LEE MINHO  
[sarcastically, magazine in hand]  
Amazing

Jisung disagrees. He doesn't think sleeping on his best friend's couch sounds amazing. He does think Lee Minho is kind of pretty, and wonders how they've never met before, though.

 

FLASHBACK. HYUNJIN'S APARTMENT. KITCHEN. 3AM ON A TUESDAY

  
Hyunjin and Jisung are eating Mac and Cheese out of the pot together. They're intoxicated and it's literally Tuesday.

HYUNJIN  
[slurred]  
You know, I think you and my roommate Lee Minho would get along

Jisung shoves a laddle filled with Mac and Cheese into his mouth.

JISUNG  
[has not yet swallowed]  
What's his favorite color?

HYUNJIN  
Green, or something

Jisung claps as he swallows the Mac and Cheese.

JISUNG  
[proudly]  
He's perfect

Jisung accidentally knocks the pot onto the floor.

  
FLASHBACK OVER. BACK TO HYUNJIN'S LIVING ROOM.

  
JISUNG  
[dishonestly]  
I'm truly honored for this opportunity

Lee Minho laughs. Jisung smiles.

LEE MINHO  
Whatever, dude. Just don't spill anymore Mac and Cheese

Jisung has no idea what Lee Minho is talking about.

HYUNJIN  
[also unaware of the drunken endeavor]  
What?

JISUNG  
[blank]  
I literally have no idea what you're talking about

Minho starts to laugh. Jisung is too confused to blush.

 

SCENE.

 

  
INDOORS. HYUNJIN'S LIVING ROOM

Jisung, Hyunjin and Lee Minho are all sitting on the couch. Hyunjin became frantic after the Mac and Cheese confusion and remembered America's Next Top Model was airing. He forced them to watch it with him. Jisung and Lee Minho are acquainted, and even sitting next to each other. Jisung is in the middle. The TV is currently playing an ad for cat food.

JISUNG  
[suddenly]  
I miss Lasagna

Lee Minho looks to his right at Jisung. Hyunjin looks to his left at Jisung. Jisung stares at the TV.

LEE MINHO  
The baked meal?

JISUNG  
[upset]  
My cat named Lasagna that my ex-boyfriend stole

Lee Minho sits up straight. Hyunjin looks at the TV again. America's Next Top Model is back on.

LEE MINHO  
[just as upset as Jisung]  
Your cat named Lasagna has been stolen?

JISUNG  
By my ex-boyfriend

Lee Minho puts a hand on Jisung's shoulder. Jisung looks at him, and they're both about to cry.

LEE MINHO  
[distraught]  
That is so terrible

Jisung let's one tear fall. Lee Minho wipes it away, and then they're hugging.

HYUNJIN  
[distracted]  
Just steal her back

Jisung stays in Lee Minho's arms and dreads everything. He's not prepared to risk seeing Chan right now. He's definitely going through something important and miserable, he has just been discharged from the hospital for attempted suicide. Overall, he is scared.

HYUNJIN  
Or ask politely

 

SCENE.

 

  
INDOORS. HYUNJIN'S LIVING ROOM (again)

Jisung is asleep on the couch. It's past 5am and he's using a pillow as a blanket. Lee Minho comes through the front door loudly and Jisung wakes up.

JISUNG  
[sleepily]  
What the fuck

LEE MINHO  
[holding Lasagna]  
I got your cat back!

Jisung stays still. Minho smiles wide. Lasagna meows.

JISUNG  
[again]  
What the fuck

 

SCENE (for now.)


	2. also known as

FLASHBACK. INDOORS. OUTSIDE BANG CHAN'S APARTMENT. 7:38PM (to be specific)

Jisung is standing in the hallway of his boyfriend's apartment building. Bang Chan, the boyfriend, stands in the doorway. Jisung is holding two tickets to a local glassblowing show that starts at 8PM. Chan is holding someone else's hand. They're about to break up.

CHAN  
[hesitant]  
I'm . . . breaking up with you

JISUNG  
[confused, upset, and lightly buzzed from some hard lemonade]  
These tickets cost me fifty dollars

Jisung looks at the tickets he printed out from an online website that had pop-up ads every two minutes. He then realizes they're probably counterfeit and quickly puts them in his pocket.

THE HAND HOLDING STRANGER  
Chan paid over two-hundred dollars for your cat's vet check-up

JISUNG  
[confidently]  
Her name is Lasagna and she had worms

The stranger stares at Jisung. Jisung wobbles where he stands. It's quiet for four seconds exactly.

JISUNG  
[precariously moving on, to Chan]  
Who even is this?

Chan doesn't say anything at all. Jisung opens his eyes wide. He thinks he looks intimidating.

JISUNG  
[with self-titled intimidating-ness, to the affair-inducing stranger]  
Who even are you?

The male-mistress sighs like he's bored. Jisung opens his eyes wider.

MALE MISTRESS  
We met that night you stole Chan's car and totaled it by running over his bike

Jisung doesn't recall that ever happening.

JISUNG  
I don't recall that ever happening

THE STRANGER HOLDING CHAN'S HAND WHO JISUNG HAS APPARENTLY MET BEFORE DURING AN INCIDENT INVOLVING CHAN'S CAR AND ALSO CHAN'S BIKE  
Right. I'm Lee Felix, Chan's second-cousin . . . once-removed

Jisung is shocked. He assumes that not only is his boyfriend cheating on him, but he's cheating on him with his second-cousin-once-removed named Lee Felix. Jisung thinks that's probably the worst thing that's ever happened to him.

JISUNG  
[dramatically]  
This is probably the worst thing that's ever happened to me

Lee Felix sighs. Jisung is oblivious to the way he's living up to the things Chan says about him behind his back, including the time he asked how to spell CD.

LEE FELIX  
It's clearly not like that, dude. I'm here for moral support

Jisung looks at Chan. Chan puts his hand that's not being held by his second-cousin-once-removed, who he isn't cheating on Jisung with, out to Jisung.

CHAN  
[with a lovely smile]  
No hard feelings?

Jisung tries to roll his eyes and loses his balance. Chan catches him with one hand.

JISUNG  
[feeling impulsive]  
Yes hard feelings. You just broke my heart with your bitching second-cousin-once-removed present

Chan takes his hand back.

CHAN  
[defiantly, and a little overdramatic]  
What heart, Han Jisung?

Jisung immediately stomps on Chan's good foot (the left one,) then runs down the hallway to the elevator. He decided he'd never voluntarily see Chan again as he slammed the 'close elevator door' button. Chan had to schedule an appointment with his doctor about his fractured pinky toe. They dated for three years.

 

FLASHBACK OVER.

SCENE.

 

  
PRESENT DAY (night.) INDOORS. HYUNJIN'S LIVING ROOM

Lee Minho had just barged into the apartment, holding Jisung's stolen cat, Lasagna. Jisung is frozen on the couch, and is extremely confused. It's 5:37AM.

Lee Minho  
[happily]  
She's so cute!

Lee Minho sets Lasagna into Jisung's arms. Jisung holds her above his head and stares at her cat-face staring down at him. She meows.

JISUNG  
[more confused than ever]  
Literally, how?

Lee Minho sits on the coffee table. Lasagna jumps into his lap.

LEE MINHO  
I may or may not have seduced your cat-stealing ex-boyfriend at an outdoor poetry slam held right outside this club I frequent a few blocks past that corner store I buy my chapstick from

Jisung doesn't comprehend. He also thinks perhaps his new roommate Lee Minho isn't sober.

JISUNG  
What? Also, are you inebriated?

LEE MINHO  
[unconvincingly, but truthfully]  
No. I'm spiked with adrenaline, and my love for Lasagna . . . the cat

Jisung notices Lee Minho is wearing an outfit he has only seen people wear at pride parades, but with an ugly long brown coat. He recognizes the coat as his.

JISUNG  
Is that my ugly brown coat?

Lee Minho checks his shoulders.

LEE MINHO  
[careless]  
Probably

JISUNG  
[cares but doesn't want to show it]  
Alright

Lee Minho kisses Lasagna between her ears. Jisung thinks he's dreaming, maybe.

JISUNG  
[overwhelmed]  
What exactly went down with my cat-stealing ex-boyfriend Bang Chan and my cat-rescuer roommate Lee Minho, also known as, you know, you?

LEE MINHO  
[distracted]  
I already told you

Lee Minho continues to swoon over Jisung's cat named Lasagna.

JISUNG  
You precisely did not

LEE MINHO  
I seduced him

JISUNG  
How do you even know what he looks like?

LEE MINHO  
I follow his fitness-oriented Instagram

JISUNG  
What?

LEE MINHO  
[puzzled, in a way]  
I didn't seduce him over Instagram, though

JISUNG  
[puzzled by Lee Minho's puzzling attitude]  
Where did you seduce him, then?

LEE MINHO  
[kind of annoyed]  
That I did already tell you

JISUNG  
Can you please just tell me a bit more?

Lee Minho looks away from Lasagna and at Jisung. Jisung looks at Lee Minho hopefully, like an idiot.

LEE MINHO  
[shyly]  
He was just there . . . I did my thing . . . got into his apartment . . . spotted the cat, told him to make some rice, or something . . . then proceeded to commit a crime for my new roommate Han Jisung who just attempted suicide, also known as, you know, you . . .

  
Jisung nods along. Lasagna starts meowing chaotically at that moment.

LEE MINHO  
[to Lasagna]  
What is it?

LASAGNA  
[meowingly]  
Meow! Meow! Meow!

LEE MINHO  
[to Jisung, dramatically]  
Do you speak cat? Do you understand?

Jisung smiles at Minho.

BOTH LEE MINHO AND JISUNG  
[perfectly in sync]  
She wants to eat cheese!

 

  
SCENE.

  
  
A FEW DAYS LATER. INDOORS. A PET SUPPLIES STORE. THE TOY AISLE

Hyunjin and Jisung are shopping for cat food. Jisung is carrying two bags of cat food down the aisle while Hyunjin stops to look at all the dog toys. They didn't grab a cart and Jisung has accidentally dropped the bags four times. Hyunjin refused to help pick them up each time.

JISUNG  
[breathless]  
I'm gonna drop them again

HYUNJIN  
[nonchalant]  
What a weird work-out you're doing today

JISUNG  
It's a forced regimen

HYUNJIN  
Whatever

Jisung's phone goes off. Hyunjin is holding it as Jisung is occupied, and he checks the notification. Jisung doesn't notice.

HYUNJIN  
[abrupt]  
Oh no

JISUNG  
[can't see past the two bags of cat food]  
What?

HYUNJIN  
You're being sued

JISUNG  
I'm being sued?

HYUNJIN  
You're being sued by your ex-boyfriend over a cat that was stolen, then rescued, which was also kind of, I guess, stealing

Jisung drops the cat food on purpose this time.

 

SCENE.

 

 


	3. scandalous origami

  
OUTDOORS. OUTSIDE OF A LOCAL CORNER STORE. PAST MIDNIGHT

Hyunjin is stood in the street, at least 10 feet away from the corner store door. He has a five dollar bill that Jisung made into an origami knife in his hand. He's been standing in the same spot for 20 minutes, and his bottom lip is chapped and bleeding. He's also wearing his glasses but no shoes.

A bypasser sees Hyunjin and tries to walk past cautiously.

HYUNJIN  
[loudly. erratic, also. to the random dude walking by]  
Hey, wait, you!

The guy jumps and speeds up. He's carrying street food and some of it drops onto the ground.

HYUNJIN  
[following him, stepping on the food with his bare feet but it's whatever]  
I said wait!

RIGHTFULLY FRIGHTENED BYPASSER  
[rightfully frightened, to the sky]  
I know I just tweeted I was ready to die, but I didn't mean it literally!

HYUNJIN  
[straight-up like a dumbass]  
What's your twitter? Follow for follow?

The guy stops and turns around.

BYPASSER WHO UNLITERALLY TWEETS ABOUT WANTING TO DIE  
[entirely fine now]  
Totally!

 

  
SCENE.

 

  
INDOORS. HYUNJIN'S BEDROOM. EVEN MORE PAST MIDNIGHT

Hyunjin is in bed and on his phone. His foot still has food on it and he left stains on the floor with each step. The screen shows a Twitter conversation with his new mutual.

(on Hyunjin's phone screen)

i have to ask  
jeongin >:3 • Saturday, 1:07 AM

why were you standing in the middle of the street holding a literal weapon and also not wearing any shoes?  
jeongin >:3 • Saturday, 1:07 AM

chapstick outage  
Saturday, 1:08 AM ✓

left in a daze. forgot feet protection  
Saturday, 1:08 AM ✓

no shoes no service  
Saturday, 1:08 AM ✓

stolen scandalous origami  
Saturday, 1:09 AM ✓

  
haha. i thought you were an escaped lab rat looking for revenge on those who got to live normal lives  
jeongin >:3 • Saturday, 1:10 AM

plausible assumption  
Saturday, 1:10 AM ✓

 

SCENE.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just wanted to update something because jisung said he likes to play jenga in his live!! .. "stacking jenga".. very exciting time for me. sorry its short and theres no minsung but hello to hyunin <3333333 will update again soon thank you for reading !

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments = my vision being blurred by tears until I am just sobbing for exactly 10 minutes straight each time


End file.
